Why a dating agency and personal service with date coaching can make the dreams we project become a reality.
Projection and Reality
This is called projection. I am not seeing the actual man or woman opposite me, but rather I am projecting an image of who I imagine him or her to be. This image is as real to me as she is real, I believe it to be true of her, even though we have just met!
Our relationship takes form based on our projections, and thus the grounds for a wild love affair is born. That incredible time, which seems to be a time out of time, where love is expressed through passion, desire, all-night conversations and an insatiable desire just to be together. It is intoxicating, necessary and guaranteed to come to an end.
Search for Love – A Matchmaker Turns the Date into Love.
As soon as they do something that falls outside the parameters of our projection, I am challenged to either rearrange the projection or see through it to the actual person in front of me. In a moment, the incredible high becomes an audible thud as I land back on planet earth and realise that all is not what I imagined it to be. It was all wishful thinking, a projection of my dream.
As matchmakers (yes, some Singles believe this guarantees delivery of instant ‘love’) and date coaches, we daily deal with emotional fall out when the glue comes unstuck, the wild love affair crashed. The withdrawal of a projection is always tricky and emotional. One feels empty, duped and silly with no one to blame but oneself. We no longer feel completed by the other before us. In fact, at that moment we cannot understand how it was even possible to feel anything for the other, let alone the grand love affair, which has unceremoniously, just ended.
Getting from the Dream date to Real Love with a matchmaker
The withdrawal of the projection is the start or the end. It is when the adults return to the room and either look at each other with new eyes or shut the door in search of the next projection fuelled high.
It is the moment when real love has a chance to be born. When we begin to see the other with empathy, become genuinely interested in her/him as an independent human being, with his/her own journey, struggles, emotions and needs – just as I have my own, and find a way to courageously share my inner world, that a real chance between us is born. When we are secure in being imperfect, vulnerable and human, finding, love is a natural result.
This is how we make love, slowly, over time. Always conscious of the other, both as the image we project onto him/her and as the independent person, whom we might come to know if we find the courage and curiosity to stick around long enough. Love is not only physical but mental, emotional and spiritual too.
Please read our website www.matchvip.co.za, and complete and submit your details on the Personal Profile, and we will set up a call to discuss your individual needs. Success in love is only a contact way to change for the better.
By Eytan Nafte Relationship Coach www.fromdivorcetodating.com
When we first fall for each other, what we see in the other is absolute, complete, incredible and most beautiful. This may even happen on the first date. The person before me seems to complete me in every way. I have found ‘the one!’