In recent weeks Shannon, matchmaker and date coach, has spoken about recognising when a relationship is toxic and knowing when to get out – fast! today we chat about how to leave it behind forever and truly start again. Like a sore tooth, we “worry it” with our tongue and maybe the pain is enjoyable in a perverse way (just like a toxic relationship), until it gets fixed, then the relief is palpable. How long do we wait to fix it though?
Every single who has ever crossed our path has had some disappointment in love, whether just an amenable parting because not meant to be, tragic loss, or there has been abuse, use, exploitation, manipulation, betrayal, lies and deceit that became the equivalent of a nuclear war.
When love turns to obsession, jealousy and hate, the only result is mass destruction. To each person the pain is equally deep, we cannot say it is a small pain or huge pain, pain is pain to each of us, and we need to deal with banishing the root cause. Your matchmaker knows the secrets to work past it!
ARE WE DATING WITH “AGENDAS” OR SERIOUSLY LOOKING FOR LASTING LOVE?
Funny thing is people date for different reasons, and may not even know it! Maybe they just like being popular (collecting “scalps”) or enjoy a quick conquest with no intention of investing, maybe it is to “own” and show-off a prize other, or they are experimenting, or maybe it is to make the ex jealous, get revenge and cause more of the same old toxic patterns because the drama is exciting, or maybe it is the biological clock and “baby fever” – well, any of these agendas do not fall under the heading of “seeking a healthy and happy future” whether shared or not.
We need to feel happy in our hearts – even if alone. When we use the alone time to work on our dating image and plans, then we know “alone” is not forever ……someone out there will WANT TO SHARE our happiness and be part of it!! Attraction happens!!
Until we turn our backs on the past, forgive and forget and move on, old pain never heals and this is what we call a “blockage” because new love has no chance until healed, the wound festers.
And love is an energy that flows between two beings, until we let go and open up, we risk being blocked by walls of resistance. When we celebrate a new beginning and allow the love energy to flow with no barriers to trust – it does flow!!
BEING IN LOVE IS A COMMITMENT, FEAR AND ANGST HAS NO PLACE IN A NEW LOVE
Fear, insecurity, low self-esteem, lack of confidence and all the “bad energy” we all suffer from, has a root in disappointment in love ….even as children, if we are not fully loved and supported, this plays out in our mature years, until we fix it. We become people pleasers, co-dependents …..and much more….even narcissistic. “It is not me, it is them”. As matchmakers and coaches we speak to many, those that are grumpy, the “unhappies”, disappointed and discontented, and taking it out on others is “acting out” and not the winning way to earn trust.
Our dating expert Veronica is always happy to hear from you, clear blockages and get your mojo going!! Please contact her for your free coaching session or an assessment chat on firstname.lastname@example.org if you are wondering “why do I feel like this?”
ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE AND PREPARED WHEN DATING FOR REAL?
No smart General goes into battle until he has scoped out the landscape……YOUR MATCHMAKER studies the lay of the land for you, we want you to feel ready for the adventure ahead and it need not be “unknown and dangerous territory” if some simple advice is heeded. Those that also read, succeed!! Guesswork is a fatal mistake and leads to unfound assumptions…..dating by default!
Enquiries on the joining process welcome, once part of our exclusive “community” we can get on with recruiting for you! This way you also manage expectations and do not sit in your Sunday Best, waiting for your prince on a white horse or Cinderella to suddenly knock on your door ……you have to go work your own floor ….we can only introduce….you attract!
Sending love and light from our hearts to yours, and see you soon!
Shannon and the MatchVIP Team