Indeed, why is it so difficult to find love, asks expert matchmaker, Shannon, who is assisting countless professional singles find love all year round, over nearly two decades?
Stats have proved an expectation of about 10% success rate when using dating sites, as opposed to up to 73% when using a personal introduction agency. If you are meeting the “right others” your chances of finding love improve exponentially.
Sabotaging Our Changes Even When Love Beckons
Finding love should come naturally and easily, not so? Sometimes we REJECT (coping mechanism) any real chance of finding love because we are suffering rejection anxiety, or fear criticism or even hurtful reactions/rejection from others. (Reptilian Brain – fight or flight? Let me kill you before you kill me?). Desperation is anti-productive when ruled by fear!
Do we become “people pleasers” without consciously knowing it? That means we really are seeking constant approval, not so? “If I am perfect, I will be loved!”. If you believe that myth, then you are not near perfect, and will never be.
Do You Need to Be Loved? Or Want to Be Loved? Be a Love Magnet
Are we victims of being “needy”? Needing love is putting pressure on another to love us. Someone? Anyone? Wanting to give and receive love is a natural process.
Does “being good enough” mean we will also be loved, cherished and adored, on some sliding scale of excellence? Being loved is a huge reward, not so? Therefore, if I do not feel loved enough, I secretly fear there is something wrong with me, and suddenly, anxiety becomes my best friend! When we lose the “need”, love can happen as naturally as the sunset!
We are loved when we are loveable and loving! We are not projecting “neediness” when we know we are right for someone who finds us right for them, confidence wins. That is a huge secret in dating – because the “object of your attention” is as anxious as you to please you! Love is simple when you let it past the walls of assumptions, fears and projections of failure. Let’s gift each other by giving assurance. Then love can grow …..or not……time will tell…..
Nobody is Perfect but Someone is Perfect for You When You Open Up to Love
Logic then means, find someone as a potential heart-love investment, who is right for YOU!! Maturity comes when we realize it is humanly impossible to please 100% of the people, 100% of the time. Trying to please and be perfect leads to more complexes, and others can detect this a mile away!! So it is fine to be imperfect, because when we do love each other, LOVE is perfect!
Does Dating Succeed More When Singles Lead A Healthy Lifestyle?
Healthy mind, body and soul? Not just a cliché. Good health is the buzz word these days, nobody wants a “faulty” Love Investment that may die on them, get ill, or cause stress when it is totally avoidable……and we all know what causes heart disease, diabetes, cancer, stroke and illness. It is as simple as heeding the warnings we hear every day! Only you can decide on your health levels you want to achieve – for you!
How A Healthy Love Life is Possible When Singles Learn the Secret
Truth being, sadly, in this very visual digital age, the human inclination to admire and then desire to possess quality objects, nice things and a fine-looking lover, is the Number One attraction factor, visual impact. But what is this and to whom and when?
The first hook will always be the visual attraction, sad but true….and that is as unique to each person as their fingerprint because one person’s frog is another’s prince/princess, good news hey!! A general standard is easily attainable and being attractive simply attracts the right attention! And “naturally attractive” wins hands down! Nobody needs to be a cover girl/guy!
The consolation is someone will love someone else no matter what, if there is a love interest, as love sees the beauty in us all. Back to being loving and loveable and spreading your warmth from your heart! We all just want to be the best we can be when seeking the simple dating secret to success, not perfect, but just the best!
We tend to treat others as we like to be treated, being warm and friendly, tolerant and non-judgmental may evoke the same response towards you, from those you wish would notice you! Smile at a stranger today – Shannon bets you will get a smile back!
Happy dating everyone and may love find you soon!
Shannon and the Team at Perfect partners