Our Matchmaker and Relationship/Date Coach on the unspoken Language
Our matchmaker and relationship/date coach has some sound advice to share on the unspoken language we all use when communicating with others – especially in the early stages of possible attraction. No sane person can feel attraction of the genuine kind from a mere photo and basic bio of a stranger – humans need to MEET and read all the signals, hear the voice, feel the vibration and warmth, if it is there. This is what scammers rely on – falling for them without ever meeting, and we know the price many vulnerable Singles have paid.
We are often asked, and we mean often!! “What is flirting really all about? I am so rusty and things are so different to when I was younger and naïve! Boy meet girl was a natural process”. Both the guys and the ladies realise there is skill involved in this day and age and a different communication style is needed. It is not surprising then how many clients report back after a first date that they felt like hey were at a job interview! Singles seeking new love may not have any flirting skills!! Although the same old ways are still important in the courting process and getting to know each other, and we only need adapt the basics. Communication!
Dating and Attraction starts at the first hello
Well, easiest way to describe it is that communication is not just words and batting a conversation in a two-way word swap – it is important to have a “breakthrough strategy” and “authentic engagement = effective communication” which means all our senses are, or should be involved, and much of it is the “unspoken body language”.
Every human wants to thrive under a warm and attentive eye and also assess where they stand with this new “love” prospect they have just started learning to understand. It is a real fact that the more ‘approval and encouragement’ we get, the more we blossom and relax and even come out of our shells!!
Are we really a love match or delusional?
We are specifically talking about those first encounters of the second kind!!!
If we live mindfully and with awareness of those around us when seeking specifically to find a love interest, we probably have learnt that some body language is always present. We all project our subconscious feelings through attitude, our reactions and gestures. When two people do not resonate, they send a negative message because both or one of them is blocking their magnetic field – much like a cell phone pinging to find a tower and having no luck – there is no connectivity and despite the polite words and smiles, they are just not feeling it!!
Clenched fists denote tension. Crossed arms denotes a bit of hesitation, shyness/fear or even signalling “I am not enjoying this!”. Crossed legs show we are closed. While sitting and turning away means I don’t really trust this. Avoiding looking at someone in the eye when talking to them – well, it is avoidance!! Talking over your shoulder sends a clear message “please just go away!”…..and turning your back on someone means get lost fast!!
The Power of Silent Flirting
Ahhaaaaa!!!! And when we feel someone looking at us a little longer than normal – we usually feel the goose bumps because we are picking up that they are interested in us and a bit more intentional!! It is called “the long look” (not a scary stare!!). If this person is a total stranger or someone you may know from a distance, well, expect an approach!! And pray it is not creepy, lurid or foolish, LOL!!
Cheap pick-up lines simply do not work when dating mindfully!! Putting down the opposite gender and taking swipes at them (or even other people) is not funny – it shows extreme disrespect for the opposite sex and others….even if it is about how you were hurt by that now-hated ex!! The “blonde jokes” or alluding to their “stupidity” is not funny. Superior or snide remarks are red flags for being an egotist or worse, a narcissist. Hoping to sound “impressive” may come across as very pompous, self-important, or egotistical. It can even be a sign of deep insecurity if we need to boast!!
What we take away from our latest research in helping all sincere Singles find a love match more than ever is that laughter is the best medicine in most situations, and if you can really enjoy a good smile, giggle or laugh you are actually bonding – it signals you like what you see and hear 😊 (And may the Good Lord help those who do not know how to laugh!!)
Another thing to observe when determining whether or not a person is lying is if they gesture with one hand or two. A 2015 study found that 40 percent of people who were lying made gestured with two hands, versus only 25 percent of people who were telling the truth. Do you talk with your hands?
Moral of the story? Talking with your hands is much more than a silly habit. It can reveal key things about you and your conversation partner’s thoughts and motives.
Sending love and hugs from our hearts to yours and hoping to hear from you! please submit your Personal Profile and we will book you free orientation chat on how our personal matchmaking can work for you.
Fond Regards
Shannon and the Team
Read next blog: The Dating Game – Situationship or Relationship