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When ‘love’ Goes Bad And Why – And Knowing The Difference When Love Is Fake Or The Real Deal

Our relationship therapist and matchmaker, Shannon, shares some date coaching and insight on how to avoid the pain and angst of bad dating experiences, lost love, unrequited love or fear of ever finding love again. Everyday tales of woe and heartbreak pour in from Singles who then seek expert dating advice and prefer to pay for professional singles introductions. Why battle on alone? A small investment in YOU is all it takes, as our agency will equally invest in you too! “Recruiting” is key!

Over the past few months we have been writing about narcissism at varying degrees, but how do we recognise it, or avoid it? Love is such a beautiful, soul-enriching and mind-blowing, overwhelming emotion and the all-consuming thing we all crave, but when it is bad it is truly BAD…after the fact…..and it pays to be savvy and know the red flags from the get-go.  Don’t grab the first chance at ‘delusional love’ either, and rather scope out your new dating landscape, explore. Choose RIGHT!

Have You Been Dating The Wrong Others? Are You Hooking Up Or Serious About Love?

The subject of GBV has never been addressed as much as in 2020, and a very real thing, but it can work both ways for both genders……and guidance and help are only a call away when your dating agency has your back!!! As responsible matchmakers and expert date coaches, we do care whole-heartedly. Even if that love felt good and normal, rebounds and love lost and broken relationships are extremely painful – prevention is better than cure! See it for what it really was – and be pleased you can have a fresh start. Who needs a life of misery, even if the sex seemed good!?

The dark side to finding love is not being able to predict when the abuse will be emotional, physical, sexual or even financial, and although often at varying degrees, either subtle or overwhelming (by both single men and women – women can be predators too guys!) it pays to heed the signs and red flags when dating and before making choices!

We research this subject because all too often we hear of people’s bad experiences in the love game maybe because they rushed it and made wrong choices and have or are paying a heavy price. The message is we need to learn to make the RIGHT choices, and we are here to guide and guard.

 Personal Introductions For Professional Singles And Meeting The Right Love Prospects

Love is simple, people are complex! Be properly introduced to likeminded and compatible others, for starters.

So what is Trauma Bonding, and yes, we did not know it actually is a recognised syndrome (we recognise it always as a form of PTSD and toxic imprinting or even self-sabotage), how does this happen?  We are not only here to introduce you to good prospects as expert matchmakers and professionals who deal with matters around the rules of the eternal dating game, but to safeguard you always and have your back – and we truly do as we filter all the time! Of course, humans are quirky and even eccentric, so if not harming anyone, we accept it and find it great – but there comes a time to run if any of these feelings hereunder or ‘thoughts’ are swirling!

DATING BY DESIGN and how to spot Trauma Bonding, Narcissistic Abuse, and/or Co-dependency

Many Singles (and worse, married couples often when too late) seek help and support through coaching or life therapy. Often we find an explanation for behaviours we’ve been struggling with for our entire lives, and on many levels with all our relationships. We then realise, with assessment, poor relationships seem to have similar patterns when there is co-dependency when we can identify it. Often we still feel that it’s impossible to break those destructive cycles and we keep doing the same things over and over, ignoring the answers, this is denial. By working with a psychotherapist or life coach who is familiar with codependent thoughts and behaviour, those devastating patterns can be changed for a sustainable, positive future.

A Short Description Of Trauma Bonding In Relationships And Red Flags When Dating

Are you feeling captive and do you recognise the similarity to the Stockholm Syndrome? You ARE held hostage and may not know it but keep trying harder and even blaming yourself! This is trauma bonding.

QUOTES WE HEAR: “This has just proved that I have yet to experience true love – the next time I am swept off my feet I will look a little deeper than mere chemistry!! And I will know when there is no real interest to stay, but am being used to gratify another” – Quote from a wise member (name withheld)

Trauma BondTrue Love
·         The relationship starts with instant attraction + irresistible chemistry·         The relationship starts with attraction + curiosity that builds over time
·         The connection is highly physical + sexual·         The connection is physical, sexual, emotional + intellectual
·         The relationship cycles through extreme highs + lows·         The relationship is stable + predictable based on mutual trust
·         Important conversations are avoided·         Important conversations are a priority
·         The relationship feels like an addiction that you are powerless to quit·         The relationship feels like an honour, a privilege + a choice

Sounds a bit boring doesn’t it? Maybe the dating game is hard work when you are yearning and craving love at any cost? Well, the great news is when real love finds you and you meet the right SOULMATE, the RIGHT fit, and use our roadmap to dating with design and not by default, love is everything you ever wanted and more – and not for fun or a flash in the pan or “best for now” but until the end of days!

Please know that smart Singles who value their Self, their future and the legacy they will leave, know that having a professional matchmaker, experienced date coach and an expert in the love stakes, is the right choice to make. Also a huge saving in time and heartache, and a wise investment for a service they need. WHAT PRICE REAL LOVE?  A matchmaker does NOT choose your love match, but merely introduces you to the RIGHT prospects, and guides you to find everlasting love in a two-way street of negotiated bliss!

Standing by to hear from you and wishing you all success with the dating game! Your Team at MatchVIP is ready! Reach out to us.

Fond Regards

Shannon and the Team

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