Gaslighting is a manipulative behaviour
Shannon, a reputable and respected date coach and matchmaker, shares the tales of woe she hears from many genuine Singles who tell her daily, “I always end up being a victim of gaslighting!”. What is this exactly? Gaslighting is a manipulative behaviour that makes someone doubt their reality, memory, or sanity. It is a form of emotional abuse that can occur in various relationships, including romantic relationships. Gaslighting can have serious effects on a person’s mental health and well-being, and it’s important to recognize the signs and seek help.
Signs of Gaslighting
Often we find it perfectly human to blame the other party in the dating game for not playing by the rules. We make excuses and even use avoidance tactics not to face the awful truth when we are experiencing gaslighting. One of the first subtle negatives is when “your person of interest” starts denying or minimizing your feelings:
Your partner might tell you that you’re overreacting or being too emotional, making you doubt your feelings and perceptions in a way patronises you and makes you feel silly to have any doubts.
Withholding information: Your partner might keep important information from you or give you only part of the story to manipulate your understanding of a situation.
Blaming you for things that are not your fault: Your partner might make you feel guilty for things that are not your fault or for things that you have no control over.
Using confusion or contradiction: Your partner might use contradictory statements or behaviour to confuse you or make you doubt your own memory or perception.
Dismissing your concerns: Your partner might dismiss your concerns or make you feel like you’re being irrational, which can make you doubt your own judgment.
Do I rather Ditch this Date?
If you are experiencing gaslighting in your relationship, it’s important to seek help, unless you realise you are in a downward spiral and should rather quit this non-starter. The term ‘gaslighting’ is now a common one we hear daily, but what if it is you at the receiving end of this treatment? A date coach can provide support and guidance to help you navigate this difficult situation. Even better, a dating coach who is also a matchmaker can source the RIGHT people for you to be discreetly introduced to, in a natural and warm way, as close as it gets organically, even if it requires some tech in the beginning. There is an admin fee – you are not paying for love – you are investing in having your deserved needs met, privacy and safety, among other advantages.
Here are some ways that a date coach can help you:
- Validate your feelings: A date coach can help you understand that your feelings are valid and that gaslighting is not an acceptable behaviour. By acknowledging your feelings, a date coach can help you build confidence and trust in your perceptions.
- Provide perspective: A date coach can offer a different perspective on the situation and help you see it from a different angle. This can help you gain clarity and make informed decisions about your relationship.
- Help you set boundaries: A date coach can help you set healthy boundaries in your relationship, which can protect you from further emotional abuse. This can include setting limits on what you’re willing to tolerate and communicating those boundaries to your partner.
A proven roadmap to finding love
Your matchmaker is also your support system in many ways. Trust your matchmaker – they are an ally and a friend!! A simple adjustment to your date plan or roadmap (how to get from A – B in the dating game) can make a huge difference. She will support you in seeking help: A date coach can provide additional resources, if needed, and support to help you seek help from a therapist, counsellor, or other professionals who can help you heal from the effects of gaslighting.
A date coach who is also a matchmaker who will help you develop self-care strategies, and help you be more pragmatic and objective: A date coach can help you develop self-care strategies to help you cope with the effects of gaslighting. This can include things like owning your role in a relationship practically, understanding you are a victim and not just paranoid, and can rebuild self-confidence. Best of all, get you back in the saddle and back in action on the wonderful exploration of your Singles Dating World.
It’s important to remember that gaslighting is serious emotional abuse, and it’s not your fault. Seeking help from a date coach or other professional can help you regain your sense of self and build a healthier relationship with yourself and others.
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