“Can’t buy me luuuu-uvvvve, love…money can’t buy me love” is an iconic song by the Beatles, the questions is, has this changed?
A common remark we hear these days “he only went for her for her money!” is now more common than “she only sees him for his money, the little gold digger!”. Is it so shocking to find men are now rivaled as being “the predators” when the ladies are happily “buying love” too?
Women are empowered and earning big bucks these days and it is not going to change – women have more freedom and power, and often are earning more than their male counterparts, so what happened to the “little wee woman” needing a man to provide and protect? Where have all the heroes gone in this day and age? The balance of wealth and power has changed! Sadly, the fact is many men are broke – does it mean he is not a good investment? NO!!
The concept that only men are allowed to own the bank is slowly crumbling! How to deal with it?
There is a conundrum facing men today! Navigating the roadblock to finding lasting and fulfilling love with an equal partner is a rocky road. Power and wealth play a big role as a necessity for the alpha male! He is judged on what he can provide and seen as a lesser man if he cannot meet her expectations and shower her with gifts and luxuries. Women do not see him as a prospect, he is labelled a sad-ass and broke dude! If he is great looking and fun he may just be useful as a temporary fix while she looks around for “better”, he fulfils a need, but not as a lasting investment of the heart! Does a “real man” accept this? Does he then buy-in to the fact he is but a throw-away commodity? Yes, some of the time, because, a female predator will trade resources – her wealth and power for his attention and sexitement! The tables have turned! Men are in shock!
As an experienced matchmakers and date coaches, we have heard too many times from men that they also feel they are being used, exploited for their loving kindness and attention, and crave still to find the soft, gentle and loving females who can appreciate them, even if they are not equal in assets. Some men are even insisting on being matched with “just normal women” where they can still be providers and protectors, they fear and detest the “corporate bitch”! Do these ladies know this? Sadly, the power to turn this around is only in the hands of the ladies. Why have successful and powerful women lost their femininity and softness, men ask?
Rich men attract attention! The broke-ass dude struggles for his share of the cake! Truth is, by the time he is successful and seen as a catch, he can call the shots and may not need to fulfil his “provider roll”, no longer into substantive relationships, and his options are endless and he is having loads of fun too because he is a woman magnet! If the ladies can play this game, so can they! Everyone is trading love for assets, or not?
Shannon Davidoff, owner of two singles dating and professional matchmaking agencies, one being www.matchvip.co.za, with vast experience in relationship coaching recommends: “We can accept the syndrome that the power of wealth versus the power of love exists between the sexes, but love will always wins in the end game! True love must be true for love’s sake and all the gifts that come with it, whether you are male or female. Nobody can have it both ways! Sharing resources is a powerful glue for lasting love, no matter who has the biggest wallet! “
So, to those ladies with big wallets, if you want a man in your life who adds value of a different kind, pay those bills and accept your man is giving you everything he can, from his heart. Men actually do admire strong and independent ladies – as long as they are still feminine, celebrate the feminine divine, and appreciate the masculine divine for all its value. Men are not looking for business partners, but a partner of the heart. In the age of equality it is like a tango – give/take, push/pull, and shared resources allow love to thrive!
Both men and women today can either wish to “buy love” knowing they are being used, or they can make a conscious decision to look for the heart intelligence and lasting potential in a future partner, despite their bank balances!
All you need do is seek that man or woman with the right potential to invest in, who loves you for you and NOT your money – the love you will receive is the biggest prize, the most valuable thing more than money, you can ever find!!
Some advice for the ladies – the broke-ass dude may have much more to offer – from the pure heart of lasting love. Together you can bring lasting security, faithfulness, support and unconditional love forever. Be vulnerable – you still keep your bank balance!
For men, it has been your exclusive privilege over the ages to provide for and protect your “wee woman” and if she loves you truly, was hopefully never seen as being a gold digger, unless patently obvious, and you may have to accept now that your woman may need more than material comfort despite her assets or lack of them – you need to love deeply, have her back, be there for her, no matter what! What comes from the heart is more valuable than any material wealth! Women still need heroes!
The conundrum can be answered if both men and women at some point evaluate their concept of the meaning of being cherished, loved and supported in a lasting relationship compared to their material needs – and communicate it to the person they are attracted to – a trade-off can be dignified and honourable too!