Still Alone and Single? Being Date Ready and Finding New Love

Afraid of Dating??? Anxious and Do Not Know Where to Start??

Partner Compatibility Is Key to Attracting Love

Shannon, our expert Matchmaker and Relationship Coach reassures all Singles who are wanting to find new love, start over and try the dating game again, that it is really a big decision on how you plan to get yourself circulating again!!! But much easier when you have a hands-on, human matchmaker and coach who knows both parties in the mix.

Every adult has found themselves “alone and single” at a point in their life’s journey, whether after a divorce, a traumatic break-up, bereavement or just isolation from “dating”, even to poor access to the RIGHT others, and at some stage would like to find the magical answers to “where do I start?” and very importantly “Am I emotionally ready for new love?”.

Speaking to a professional and personal dating agency, from where your history is assessed as a guide to planning a better new future strategy, to preparing yourself for the rules of the “dating game” (not called a game without reason – baby steps and rules do apply) and be sure you can attract what you seek, can prove invaluable!! There are usually fees involved and you are investing in a project that is designed specifically for you, with your circumstances, needs and criteria of high importance!!

Steps to Instant Date Readiness – Passion is Never Enough

There are readiness markers you should consider before you even put your toe in the dating pool to find “The One.”

• Relationships often fail because of wrong timing and poor readiness.
• Everyone has an attachment style which quietly predicts how you love, communicate, fight, and react under stress.
• Relationships are the healthiest partnerships when two people arrive emotionally available and well prepared, not just emotionally attracted.
• Passion is often an eye blind – passion feels powerful and overwhelming, but loving and companionable love sustains long-term commitment after passion settles.

Success is not only finding the right person. Decades of studies on human behaviour and psychological research suggest something else: Many believe the problem was choosing the wrong partner, but the truth is it is because we entered the relationship at the wrong stage. Too much too soon!!

Before we take that leap to commit to someone, there are three psychological questions we need to address.

What are the Most Important Steps in Early Dating?

No. 1:  Everyone has attachment styles. What is your attachment style?

Attachment theories are expanded on through decades of research by many experts and explains something profound: The way people approach adult relationships was largely shaped in early childhood.

There are different Attachment Styles and depends on our “societal and familial” orientation toward closeness, trust, and dependence, and care, learned through early interactions with caregivers are the early pace setters. When babies learn when caregivers react and showup consistently and effectively, they trust: People show up. My needs matter. Relationships are safe. When the caregiver is inconsistent, absent, or frightening, very different expectations form.

Dating in 2026 is about our attachments, and there are basically TWO:

1. Firstly, the attachment to fear, (anxiety and fear of abandonment) and
2. Second, attachment avoidance (discomfort with closeness or opening u and earning trust).

One can speak to an expert and figure out their own attachment style!! A Relationship Coach and Matchmaker is a good starting point, if you are doubtful of your ability to date again.

There is however great news!! With your self-knowledge and personal development, you can adapt and transform your attachment styles. There is a mindset shift and then strategies can change. It is a powerful self-fulfilling prophecy: We behave in ways that pull responses from others that confirm our expectations. Change how you show up, and people often respond differently. Security can be learned. For a quick self-check, ask yourself: am I communicating my needs honestly?

Embracing New Dating Strategies for a Better Date

No. 2: Are we considering what needs healing and are we making an effort to change?

If dating nightmares are the norm, then we have to get clear on a few realities: a new partner/relationship is not for the purpose for therapy (see a professional) and an intimate relationship and loving support are not rehabilitation centres. If one is prone to drama/trauma, chronic anxiety/depression/addiction that is not a clinical psychopathy, there are many self-help aids out there, and even ask your matchmaker!!

One very important and essential principle to never forget:   Two people in a committed relationship are there to have each other’s back, not “fix” each other. Nor are they there to supply entertainment, material comfort or a good life because you are bored.  It is each person’s responsibility to ensure they heal themselves and work on their own issues, without covering up and blaming the other as a way out, which is a form of emotional manipulation, a serious red flag.

When Then is The Right Time to Open the Doors to New Love?

It may not be those attachments styles if you are healed and emotionally intelligent and available for a new dating plan!

When you know you are ready to put in the effort, manage expectations, present yourself as an individual who can add value to another’s life too, and have worked on your “entire package” as a beautiful human in and out (body, mind and soul) then timing may be right!!

No. 3: When do we know we are in the Right Life Stage?

When we have asked ourselves: “Who am I?” and “What do I want out of life?”  and have found some answers to start off with, then a serious relationship can be a priority.  We often also have to consider immediate or future circumstances that may arise that get in the way – work deadlines, family responsibility, personal health, holidays – but these are transient and only pause us for a second in our journey!!

Embarking on a new Dating Journey at this stage is valuable; we learn more about our preferences, ethics and boundaries, and alignment and compatibility. Mate compatibility, never perfection, but just authentic comparability is the key factor for a lasting “forever after”.  

People always value traits like physical attraction, warmth, kindness, being reliable and dependable, honesty – and very important is good health, having goals and ambition, good humour and trust both ways. Relationships struggle because people are pretending or have mismatched agendas and things just do not ring true – we attract what we put out there, and we get a mirror reflection of who we are trying to be. If we improve and upgrade what we are bringing to the new relationship or even the dating pool, chances are everything will change in your favour – we get what we deserve, not always what we want!!

Passion is Not Enough – Are You Loveable and Loving??