Testimonial – Succeed At Love
WE WIN SOME, WE LOSE SOME (THAT THING CALLED CHEMISTRY! LOL!)
Hi dear Shannon and Inge,
I don’t quite know how to explain how I feel!! My excitement at meeting James was high – so handsome, tall and smart and he looked like the catch of the year for me! Our first chat on the phone was great and it seemed to be on!
I exit feeling nothing but irritation and confusion because all the ingredients were right, but we just did NOT hit if off! Why do I feel so CROSS!
Through your sensible date coaching I am able to see it is not your fault and dealing with it (I must never turn and blame someone else, but even after self-assessment, I can’t find a reason! Am I mad! J). I cannot deny your sensitive professional service you give us singles searching for love, is invaluable, and I now know what you mean by “experiential date coaching”…..in real moments like these it is best to deal with it right away or you just fester and go toxic.
So when James and I met up over this past weekend it was just a downer. It really didn’t go well. We have very different world views although no real debate happened, and I found him offensive. He didn’t do anything directly offensive or unkind towards to me and was attentive and polite, but I found it very hard to start and sustain a conversation and obviously, he did also did not wish to explore my personality. I am sure he felt the same way, it was futile. We just couldn’t establish a rapport or common ground.
Have a lovely week!
Thanks dear Marianne ……….we are sorry about this!! We really sympathize, it must have been very awkward! It is not like James …we usually have awesome feedback and he takes his dates on amazing adventures…..always fun and easy going although highly professional, he has a playful side too…..(and yes, drop dead gorgeous but luckily does not even know this, so he is not arrogant)…….maybe he is going through a rough patch, we apologise on his behalf!
We will though gently check in with him if he needs time out if he cannot be attentive ……..!! The last feedback was glowing on how much fun he is ……..gosh, people confuse us! LOL!
Fact is, we win some, we lose some …and we lose more often than win!! It is really about the ONE WIN you need! Another fact is people simply do not always gel, the greatest mystery is attraction amongst humans (no scientist can even explain) and as real as attraction is, so is the fact we even repel some others, even DISLIKE people instantly! A match can be perfect in our analysis, as it appeared to be here, but only by meeting can you let the primal, divine and magic forces play out!
Did you know? Some scientists put it down to our pheromones, how we smell even? We all have our signature “smell” …not even hidden by perfume etc., and maybe this is how evolution made sure humans bred with the right gene pool! LOL! horribly cold and scientific hey! An early warning sign your genes just will clash …and give rise to maybe a strange new human race…Hahahaha!!
When we accept we just are NOT meant to love everyone as an evolved species, we adapt to being happily confident when we do find people we “belong with” and accept it is not rejection when we do wish to connect but simply have no common ground and cannot, not something wrong with us ….it is just DNA, or something not meant to be!
We look forward to the next!! You are a most lovely lady and popular, so more on the way!
And this thing called love and lust!!
Hi Shannon and Inge, how are my favourite matchmakers and gurus doing today!
I met with Jean. She really is a lovely person and I am spinning a little, just a little! Hoping for more. I can definitely see how she would be a valuable life partner. I also really enjoy her feminine energy.
I am however on the fence on whether I am attracted to her as a final and last “for ever” partner. I am scared to move forward but have the hope that the attraction will grow.
In the past I dated a very cool girl who I felt similar about. We were together for almost three years. I kept hoping the attraction will come. In the end, I realised that attraction cannot really grow. If anything, it gets rather bleak and you feel bad about exiting, but your professional matching advice has been beyond helpful and saved me from wasting my time again – no more struggling for three years hoping!
It has to be there from the start. I felt guilty then, and I feel a bit guilty now. I mean these are awesome girls, why can’t I just find them attractive? I mean like really, “I want to ravish you” attractive. Is it me or them? I’ve had two relationships where I felt that I couldn’t keep my hands off the girl – which I really enjoyed………..but they quickly burnt out…..was it because there was no glue, no bond yet?
I have met some of the loveliest ladies in the country through you and know I am very eligible too (I try hard), but some days I feel so dead, like love just won’t come! I do not just want the physical – I would be very cynical and even turn hard-ass if it were not for your amazing care and encouragement! You are surely the best matchmakers in the world! I always look forward to new introductions …and learning to understand the meaning of love.
I’m going to propose to Jean that we continue as friends as I feel we have a lot in common and could share some good times together, and maybe that deep fire burning will explode into a volcano.
What do you think?
Thanks dear Stan ……we understand your dilemma entirely!! “I want to ravish you”, hee hee, is that confusion around lust!! Fact is according to human history (see last two newsletters, we covered this exact syndrome), lasting love does start with attraction with an element of sexual interest …..in friendship first…..and GROWS from there…playing the waiting game is very erotic and pays off big time…….sexual tension grows with flirting and imagining that ONE DAY when you get to the ravishing!! Never suppress your feelings, and always act with a conscious awareness of results …….if it is a fling, so be it, but let the sexual tension build along with your new friendship……..and see where it goes!
We cannot express our gratitude enough that you are working with us – always a very fine guy and on top of your game, getting better at it every day! It is a huge asset to us to have such an eligible, good looking and smart guy to work with and for, as you are always a great hit! Many of our lovely ladies are disappointed they were not The One to be ravished! LOL!! but the day will come …….hang in there!
And yes, we do believe our professional matchmaking and date ready advice helps! We have saved you countless futile hours, hunting in dangerous waters and exposing yourself to unsuitable others, money on dates and precious energy by picking out your kinda ladies where there is always potential…….we believe we have the recipe right now, it is just a matter of chemistry happening!
Simply put, you may not be ready for a “for ever relationship” and still need to have some casual fun! LOL!
Maybe avoid over-thinking or being intense, let it grow as it will!! Love will find you!!
Larry and Liz - a fabulous new passionate relationship!!
Hi to my awesome matchmakers:
You asked me for feedback in terms of lovely Liz: Please see below. It finally happened! I didn’t know what hit me!
I met Liz on Friday last week, and to be completely honest, not a doubt, we got on like a house on fire! We both like each other is a really cool and crazy way.
I am so lucky to be here, and to have eventually met the woman of my dreams, my heart’s desire – I thought it would never happen, but you were right, persistence pays off!
Honestly, I have been around the world and know what awesome matchmakers you are, your dedication goes beyond just service – you are right as professional matchmakers when you say this a science and an art! I would hate your “job” …….I am so fussy I would hate to even try to date me! LOL!
Finally, it was a perfect match in every way. Emotionally, physically, everything. We just matched…….I am dazed!! Like we have known each other a life time. I never thought I could find love again at 49! Been around the globe and met the best eligible bachelorettes in the world, and here you have my perfect match!
Thanks for all your gentle care and patience, you guys are special, and even forgave me when I moaned!! You never let me lose hope …… I still live with the memory of many lonely nights and dark hours, wondering where my love was! Casual sex just did not do it for me anymore, as you say, no quick fixes! I never want to go there again, I have something more precious than any treasures.
Was it luck or science? We will never know …maybe both! I can’t stop wondering ………
Larry and Liz
Hi dear Larry,
We are thrilled you and Liz hit off immediately!! That is what it is all about!! It was your time! Yes, we know people wait anxiously and fret over how long it can take sometimes, but that is the way it happens! Fact is, the more movement and activity you keep up, the sooner it will happen ….and the more ladies you agree to meet, ONE of them is bound to attract you, even if you were not sure when looking at the profile – only way is to MEET!
We have NEVER promised a perfect match on the push of a button! We guarantee introductions to potentially perfect matches …we are only agents of upmarket singles introductions to compatible others (see our website and all our stuff)…..but then you need to do your bit ad go out and meet, because you never know (what you do know is you have great potential, and need to tap into it) with nothing to lose!! You need to meet the ladies …and they should meet you…you each have your role in the outcomes…..and it helps to read our advice on how the fine-tuned strategy works……J
It is no chance you met Liz, LOL!! …..you would never have known the other even existed, we introduced you, thank goodness you agreed to meet and love found you!! Incredible energy exploded in a marvellous, wonderful way ….because you were right for each other, and were the right people because we matched you, the time was right …..and the energy was right …..because we had found a perfect match for both of you….even if you had nearly given up.
But yes …love strikes us all by chance …..it comes out the blue when least expected, that is why we say keep looking, keep meeting others!! It does happen!! We have the finest “others” and not to be sniffed at! Then we go from being dogs to being heroes! Only 1 in 100 first dates for a totally new member is a first meet success story…it takes as long as it takes, often because people are not doing it right.
We send all our good wishes for a wonderful new start in your life and a bright future together!
When there is just no chemistry!!
Hi Shannon and Inge,
Just giving you some feedback and feeling a little low – this is not easy! I must say though I am meeting the most fabulous ladies, and I mean LADIES! I just wish they would be as keen as I am, but understand patience is important and maybe I am still a bit rusty.
I certainly have proved to myself I am confident to date though and had some very lovely meet-ups (as you say, until there is a spark, it is not a real date yet!). I am having fun and may have made a few new friends, so my spirit is strong.
I am an the owner of a huge company and know what it is like dealing with so many diverse people, and have to compliment on your utmost caring and professional service. Your expert date coaching and advice has been remarkable. Definitely not just a random pursuit when we singles go dating seriously!
Fond regards to you all,
Thanks dear Dan …..Cherise also says she thoroughly enjoyed your company and you are a very fine man, but no real chance of chemistry ………so well done!! I think she may not have been very clear, but she is definitely not in a committed relationship….yet!! we never take on people who not free and available.
As is the custom, members meet many new friends ….until there is a definite spark both ways, and until they feel they wish to commit and “try it out in an exclusive relationship” – having The Talk, and letting us know, they will not see others (but we never pry or mention because it is of no relevance yet until you go exclusive, which means they break off and stop other contacts) so maybe she has recently met someone and now decided to give it a go….I think this is what she meant!
We wish the same for you …to hone your social and dating skills with our professional matchmaking advice, make friends (with a flirtatious edge of course as you are BOTH here seeking a partner) and let the cream rise to the top…as it always does….you heart will tell you, and usually it is mutual!
So on we march dearest …..and keep your first goals in mind step by step …….meet for the rendezvous (to check out potential), if there is attraction, angle for the next meet-up, which is really the first real date …….then only think long term potential, love sex and marriage!! LOL!
But for the first rendezvous, the point is to impress, dazzle and nab her attention enough to get a foot in the door ….the rest is a natural process!
Being attentive, friendly and fun company is your goal ……..no need to invest emotionally until that spark is evident, both ways!
Always in love and light, and have a great long weekend, we are on it again on Tuesday……
I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason
My dear Shannon, I think that you are placed into peoples lives for a reason. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky and what I have done to deserve a friend like you. People have come and gone out of my life, but for some reason you never left. Your friendship is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You always have time, you always care.
I could write a book about the positive affect you have had on my life. Your heart is of the purest that I have ever known and I felt your spirit the second I met you. Your energy and smile radiates and love and compassion that you show for others is special. I am so grateful to be affected and influenced by you. I hope that one day I can be half of the person that you are.
You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. You loved me when I was hard to love. You listened to me when I didn’t have a voice and let me cry when I was broken. But most importantly, you never give up on me. That is special.
You know me to my core. You know what makes me smile and what ticks me off. You can tell in an instant when I am upset and then continue to do everything in your power to make me feel better. If I am going through something, you are the first person to text me to make sure I am okay. When my confidence lags, you reassure me of myself. I have never had a bad moment with you.
You fill my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life takes us, you will be part of my life. If we don’t talk for some time, we pick up right where we left off. Whenever I need you, I know you will always be there.
You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I hope that every person in this world has someone like you in their lives. Shannon, you are the best!
You have really found me a most awesome gentleman
A month has passed since Andre and I have decided to commit to a more serious relationship. Since then we have been wanting to write an email to you to inform you of our decision. You have really found me a most awesome gentleman – a true man, principled but fun and he treats me like a queen! I am very lucky I found my perfect partner.
We are both extremely happy with our newly found love and friendship. We can imagine ourselves a life together, we are so compatible and appreciate even the small things that make life worthwhile, and want to use the next few months to get to grow closer.
We want to thank you for your initiative to match the 2 of us. We will keep you informed of any progress.
Andre and Karin
A fairy tale come true!!
Hi Shannon and Inge
You don’t need to send me any more profiles at this stage because I believe I have found my perfect partner yes I got frustrated many times and was close to giving up and stop looking for a partner. However you send me the profile of a lady I though only exists in fairy tales, I contacted her, I met with her and life has a new meaning. I laughed when my daughter watched these fairy tales, where a lady meets her prince in shining Armour, well thanks to you I found a princess. Your professional matchmaking is superb and thanks for all the continuous care and patience, even when I was despondent!
Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year.
Regards and love and light back to you guys!
Ahhhh, that is so wonderful of you to email us this good news dear JH, and also lovely chatting ……..indeed, fairy tales do come true even if they take their own time!! It happens when the time is right because the universe KNOWS when your heart is free and open ……and usually, this is when you are gatvol and stop trying too hard, it then happens when the energy is clear!
We wish you and LB a fabulous festive season, and please keep in touch, we will miss you, but are thinking about you.
Always in love and light until next time, and blessings for an incredible 2018!
Very happy with coaching service! Thanks Veronica!
Thank you for our session yesterday. You have affirmed that I am on the right track to look for my own special friend and hopefully to find love again. I feel more confident about presenting the best of me (photo shoot today!) and actively looking out for potential partners, even among the friends I have had for years or the men I come into contact with through work, though I do of course hope that Perfect Partners will find “the one”!
My experience so far has been great – your whole team of matchmakers has made a big difference to my views on the business of find love again.
You do a wonderful job and must help so many people. Very special. I now realise this takes a dating strategy and is not a hit-and-miss, even though you are my matchmakers, I need to check out every “potential” that crosses my path – I have been hiding for too long! It is true I need to let “others” know I am available and not wait in my ivory tower.
Finding my soul mate - Relationship Coaching - this is all positive angel, merely an exercise!
Oh my word, this is much tougher that I imagined it to be. I am horrified that dear MIKE misread my retorts, but can see exactly why – how wrong of me! Dating is a campaign – not just like a silly dating site where there is no professional matchmaker to guide us! Maybe I have picked up bad “dating patterns” on singles social media too and am not “date ready” as I now realise.
Yes that was part of our conversation and yes I do see that if he is sensitive that he may have thought I was judging him and putting him in some kind of box. The really silly thing is that for me it was confirming a positive trait which I am certainly looking for in a man because my life has not been a stable one. He is EXACTLY what I seek, a stable and secure man, because this pattern also means he would not change his ladies like he does his socks!
Gosh!! I would have loved to share his flying passion and maybe he would have tried a ride with me on my Harley before I sold it! I wish I had not blown my chances so quickly! I definitely need to learn the secrets of the dating game!
The fact that he has managed to be so stable is wonderful, it is an
attractive quality not a negative one at all! He did not respond by asking me about my life and that would have opened the conversation for me to say how different my experience has been..
I will definitely keep the conversations shorter in the future 🙂
I will also take note of my responses in future… so much to think about in that first encounter! He actually did really well with not asking me any personal questions. Please pass on my apologies if you see fit, he really did interpret my comments incorrectly. He can be proud of his stability, it is not an easy accomplishment!
So, I hear you and will reflect and take heed.
Thank you for taking so much time to explain and put my thoughts to rest and provide me with guidance. I really appreciate your professional matchmaking and guidance!
Have a lovely weekend and hopefully each encounter will get easier.
Thanks dear Mike – it has been a hectic morning, phones never stop ringing!! Herewith some advice from your date coach to assist you be more date ready next time, maybe you can slow down a bit and get a better game plan together, with our help?
I have attached June’s email hereunder explaining that she completely misread you and misunderstood your dating style on the first call!
In the email from June, and as you can see, she is quite devastated that she was misread in turn when jumping to conclusions on why you never pursued, thinking she was judgemental, but in fact, can see you had little choice because that is how her retort came across (no hard feelings on her side )- which can happen!!
AND, she is also aware now that a first call is not a “show and tell” and must never be personal as it so turned out (that is why we are here, to give you “first callers” just enough to intrigue two parties, and then IF they like each enough to meet, and still like each enough to go on the first real date after the initial rendezvous (not a date yet!), all will be revealed as they progress, according to their own comfort zones)…..and also, face to face where they can read body language ……calls can be so misleading!
June has learnt a valuable lesson and that is why members need to heed our advice firstly!! She has received very much the same responses from us on coaching as you did, on this “experience” as you both needed to see this as a real life exercise on how things can be improved next time, and I believe she also values and understands why you did NOT third degree her on that first call ALTHOUGH SHE EXPECTED A LONG LIFE STORY FROM YOU………wow, was she sitting ready to do that dreaded “show and tell” after all, to a stranger! We have helped her to forget that dating style for sure!
Her other lessons are never be too sensitive until “evidence” proves a fact, keep an open mind, avoid making assumptions and never presume others are judging you! To always remain objective, and never be subjective as this instantly reveals one’s fears and insecurities and is of no importance until way down the line……and of course, to think before she makes statements!
I have assured her I have conveyed her deepest apologies to you…….and I think now you both can debate further with your coaches on the next steps, and on we march to the next……we all happy good came of it, just sad it did not get to first base, but such is life…….