And this thing called love and lust!!

Hi Shannon and Inge, how are my favourite matchmakers and gurus doing today!

I met with Jean. She really is a lovely person and I am spinning a little, just a little!  Hoping for more. I can definitely see how she would be a valuable life partner. I also really enjoy her feminine energy. 

I am however on the fence on whether I am attracted to her as a final and last “for ever” partner. I am scared to move forward but have the hope that the attraction will grow.

In the past I dated a very cool girl who I felt similar about. We were together for almost three years. I kept hoping the attraction will come. In the end, I realised that attraction cannot really grow. If anything, it gets rather bleak and you feel bad about exiting, but your professional matching advice has been beyond helpful and saved me from wasting my time again – no more struggling for three years hoping!

It has to be there from the start. I felt guilty then, and I feel a bit guilty now. I mean these are awesome girls, why can’t I just find them attractive? I mean like really, “I want to ravish you” attractive. Is it me or them? I’ve had two relationships where I felt that I couldn’t keep my hands off the girl – which I really enjoyed………..but they quickly burnt out…..was it because there was no glue, no bond yet?

I have met some of the loveliest ladies in the country through you and know I am very eligible too (I try hard), but some days I feel so dead, like love just won’t come!  I do not just want the physical – I would be very cynical and even turn hard-ass if it were not for your amazing care and encouragement! You are surely the best matchmakers in the world!  I always look forward to new introductions …and learning to understand the meaning of love.

I’m going to propose to Jean that we continue as friends as I feel we have a lot in common and could share some good times together, and maybe that deep fire burning will explode into a volcano.

What do you think?

Regards,
Stan

Shannon’s response

Thanks dear Stan ……we understand your dilemma entirely!!  “I want to ravish you”, hee hee, is that confusion around lust!!  Fact is according to human history (see last two newsletters, we covered this exact syndrome), lasting love does start with attraction with an element of sexual interest …..in friendship first…..and GROWS from there…playing the waiting game is very erotic and pays off big time…….sexual tension grows with flirting and imagining that ONE DAY when you get to the ravishing!! Never suppress your feelings, and always act with a conscious awareness of results …….if it is a fling, so be it, but let the sexual tension build along with your new friendship……..and see where it goes!

We cannot express our gratitude enough that you are working with us – always a very fine guy and on top of your game, getting better at it every day! It is a huge asset to us to have such an eligible, good looking and smart guy to work with and for, as you are always a great hit!  Many of our lovely ladies are disappointed they were not The One to be ravished! LOL!!  but the day will come …….hang in there!

And yes, we do believe our professional matchmaking and date ready advice helps!  We have saved you countless futile hours, hunting in dangerous waters and exposing yourself to unsuitable others, money on dates and precious energy by picking out your kinda ladies where there is always potential…….we believe we have the recipe right now, it is just a matter of chemistry happening!

Simply put, you may not be ready for a “for ever relationship” and still need to have some casual fun!  LOL!

Maybe avoid over-thinking or being intense, let it grow as it will!! Love will find you!!

 

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