Oh my word, this is much tougher that I imagined it to be. I am horrified that dear MIKE misread my retorts, but can see exactly why – how wrong of me! [expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”] Dating is a campaign – not just like a silly dating site where there is no professional matchmaker to guide us! Maybe I have picked up bad “dating patterns” on singles social media too and am not “date ready” as I now realise.
Yes that was part of our conversation and yes I do see that if he is sensitive that he may have thought I was judging him and putting him in some kind of box. The really silly thing is that for me it was confirming a positive trait which I am certainly looking for in a man because my life has not been a stable one. He is EXACTLY what I seek, a stable and secure man, because this pattern also means he would not change his ladies like he does his socks!
Gosh!! I would have loved to share his flying passion and maybe he would have tried a ride with me on my Harley before I sold it! I wish I had not blown my chances so quickly! I definitely need to learn the secrets of the dating game!
The fact that he has managed to be so stable is wonderful, it is an
attractive quality not a negative one at all! He did not respond by asking me about my life and that would have opened the conversation for me to say how different my experience has been..
I will definitely keep the conversations shorter in the future 🙂
I will also take note of my responses in future… so much to think about in that first encounter! He actually did really well with not asking me any personal questions. Please pass on my apologies if you see fit, he really did interpret my comments incorrectly. He can be proud of his stability, it is not an easy accomplishment!
So, I hear you and will reflect and take heed.
Thank you for taking so much time to explain and put my thoughts to rest and provide me with guidance. I really appreciate your professional matchmaking and guidance!
Have a lovely weekend and hopefully each encounter will get easier.
Shannon’s response:
Thanks dear Mike – it has been a hectic morning, phones never stop ringing!! Herewith some advice from your date coach to assist you be more date ready next time, maybe you can slow down a bit and get a better game plan together, with our help?
I have attached June’s email hereunder explaining that she completely misread you and misunderstood your dating style on the first call!
In the email from June, and as you can see, she is quite devastated that she was misread in turn when jumping to conclusions on why you never pursued, thinking she was judgemental, but in fact, can see you had little choice because that is how her retort came across (no hard feelings on her side )- which can happen!!
AND, she is also aware now that a first call is not a “show and tell” and must never be personal as it so turned out (that is why we are here, to give you “first callers” just enough to intrigue two parties, and then IF they like each enough to meet, and still like each enough to go on the first real date after the initial rendezvous (not a date yet!), all will be revealed as they progress, according to their own comfort zones)…..and also, face to face where they can read body language ……calls can be so misleading!
June has learnt a valuable lesson and that is why members need to heed our advice firstly!! She has received very much the same responses from us on coaching as you did, on this “experience” as you both needed to see this as a real life exercise on how things can be improved next time, and I believe she also values and understands why you did NOT third degree her on that first call ALTHOUGH SHE EXPECTED A LONG LIFE STORY FROM YOU………wow, was she sitting ready to do that dreaded “show and tell” after all, to a stranger! We have helped her to forget that dating style for sure!
Her other lessons are never be too sensitive until “evidence” proves a fact, keep an open mind, avoid making assumptions and never presume others are judging you! To always remain objective, and never be subjective as this instantly reveals one’s fears and insecurities and is of no importance until way down the line……and of course, to think before she makes statements!
Sweeeeet!!
I have assured her I have conveyed her deepest apologies to you…….and I think now you both can debate further with your coaches on the next steps, and on we march to the next……we all happy good came of it, just sad it did not get to first base, but such is life…….
Fond Regards
Shannon
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