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Managing expectations when dating
At MatchVIP we believe it is important to know what you want and to be selective when choosing a partner. But most importantly you need to make sure that your expectations are in line with what you have to offer someone else in return. Years of media exposure has resulted in most people developing rather impractical expectations of a life partner. Think about who you are comparing your date to? Why not rather start a new acquaintance on a clean slate?
Many people make the mistake of selecting a partner based on how they would like others to perceive them. Are you projecting your own insecurities on a potential partner before you've even met them? Are you comparing them to your previous partner? Don't fall into the trap of expecting the people you date to fall into a certain category or to act a certain way. You will only become frustrated, you may turn into a 'serial dater' and eventually dating fatigue will set in. Oh yes, and you will still be single.
When you meet someone, think about your future together. Forget about right now. If you're concentrating on the immediate future you will find that your criteria will err more on the superficial side including things such as: attractive, tall, sexy and drives a convertible. This gives us an exaggerated sense of self importance. One day when you're retired, sipping tea in your back garden - who do you see yourself with? When looks have diminished and body fat has tripled, are you going to care whether the person sitting opposite you was a super model? If everyone looked and dressed the same and earned the same salaries, what other qualities would be important to you? And most importantly - Do you have the same to offer someone else in return?
You cannot change people into becoming your perfect match. What you should do is determine whether they could match with you as a person whilst still keeping their own identity.
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written by deirdre, October 22, 2009
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written by Jen , November 03, 2009
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written by Merl1n, November 17, 2009
written by piet van rensburg, November 23, 2009
Now I would like...(if it is meant to be) a man who just takes me as I am, a man who is over the possessive phase in his life, appreciates his partner and does not break her down with ugly comments when she feels tired or ill and just wants a woman to share things in life with, laugh, be happy and be companions and friends to each other....that forms a strong bond of love over time....after all, we all growing older. My sister and her husband are a perfect example of this kind of love, a love that grew stronger over the years, he is her "comfortable old shoe" as she fondly puts it and he loves her when she looks her worst with no make and just arrived home from an operation needing care. I wish we could all find this unconditional love.